Monday, April 4, 2011
One Day In A Restaurant
I was eating in a restaurant with my wife when I shouted because there was a fly on my soup. Later on, I called the waiter and asked him if he was responsible for that. Then my wife tried to calm me down and told me to stop since everybody was looking at us. Furthemore, the waiter responded that was not his fault, he said he was done with that job and he decided to leave. As a result of my behavior, my wife stood up and told me she had enought and that I was making her feeling embarrass, so she left also.
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Hi, my doorman Jonathan~!
ReplyDeleteI read your short story, and it helped me go to bed earlier than I expected. I wish the story included more conversations. It might helpful for you to practice what we learned in the class. In your work, I couldn't try to correct your mistake since it is little short. I saw just some grammartical problem and errors in sentence structure. In addition,I think that the story need to be more fluent. As a last, our professor said that it is better to write 'that' when we change direct speech to indirect one.
Nevertheless, I think it is very good work. I could learn some things from your work.
Hello, Jonathan, I'm coming, hoho~
ReplyDeleteIt is really a good summary. Oh~I mean.. it is short enough..
I think you'd better add more details and dialogues to make the story stronger. I guess Jipyo's comment is longer than your article, lol..So it is really necessary to enrich your story.
However, it is a good work because your had your structure of the story now, so I think you can do it very well to make the story perfect.
Alright, see you monday and have a good weekend, my friend.